'Tell me what happens the first time you see a woman naked.'
'The first time you see a woman naked will not be like you imagined. There will be no love, no trust, no intimacy. You won’t even be in the same room as her.
You won’t get to smile as she undresses you and you undress her. You won’t get to calm her nerves with nerves of your own. You won’t get to kiss her, feeling her lips and the edge of her tongue. You won’t get to brush your fingers over the lace of her bra or count her ribs or feel her heartbeat.
The first time you see a woman naked you will be sitting in front of a computer screen watching someone play at intimacy and perform at sex. She will contort her body to please everyone in the room but her. You will watch this woman who is not a woman, pixelated and filtered and customized. She will come ready-made, like an order at a restaurant. The man on the screen will be bigger than you, rougher than you. He will teach you how to talk to her. He will teach you where to put your hands and he will teach you what you’re supposed to like. He will teach you to take what is yours.
You must unlearn this. You must unlearn this twisted sense of love. You must unlearn the definition of pleasure and intimacy you are being taught. Kill this idea of love, this idea of entitlement, this way of scarring one another.’"
There are days when you dont feel like praying. When your soul feels dark and your heart feels down. Those are the days when you need to pray. Those are the days when you need it most. And if you find the strength to bow before your Lord in those days, you have defeated a big part of your nafs and taken a huge step towards your Lord. So pray no matter what. Lead your heart to prayer and one day your heart will lead you to prayer.
I am sure you aren’t getting on their nerves, I am sure that they don’t mind listening to you and making sure you are okay. After all that is what friends and people you talk to are for. I understand how you feel though I used to get like that, I used to think that talking about me all the time was getting on their nerves. Maybe you could ask the person about how they feel, ask them does you talking about your issues all the time annoy them and see what they say, I am sure they’ll be able to reassure you and you’ll feel a little better knowing that they don’t feel that way. You won’t push them away if they were true friends and someone who understands, they’ll know that this is because of your depression and that you need someone to talk to but sometimes people react differently and do end up choosing not to be your friend which is sad really.
I recommend you talk to a helpline whenever you feel like you need to talk to someone. Everything remains confidential and they are free to call. They’ll be able to listen to you and they won’t mind how many times you call or how long you are on the phone because it’s their job. You can also talk to a counsellor or a therapist which I recommend, they’ll be able to give you lots of advise and will listen to what you have to say and you’ll feel a lot better talking to a professional. Then obviously you can talk to us here at mha you can ask as many questions as you like, contact me outside of mha like on Facebook, Kik, Skype, my personal Tumblr and I will be happy to listen and talk with you. Also if you are in college or school teachers/head of year are pretty good at listening and getting you some help so they may be worth talking to!
Have you ever just looked at someone and thought, “I really love you”. They’re just talking or humming or watching a movie or reading a book or laughing or something, and there’s something about them in that moment that makes you think, “I just really love you”
Ever notice how when justifying a child’s misbehavior no one ever says stuff like “girls will be girls” or “she’s a girl”, but the list of things a “young lady” can’t do is almost endless?
You learn from a young age that masculinity comes with freedom; femininity comes with restrictions.
Today’s mental health reminder: a relapse, a sudden series of attacks, a string of awful days, (or whatever your step back may be) does not decrease your value. Take your time, do some self care, reflect on the progress that you have made. You are strong; one step back is nothing when you look at the journey you have already made.
I don’t know where to start.
I still feel nothing but pain.
I still want to randomly cry.
I started praying today and something said “depression fills your head with lies.”
Lately I have felt like some of the people most important to me can’t stand me and don’t want me around anymore.
I have felt so much self hatred. I have felt so lost.
I want to believe those are lies.
I don’t know if this goes back to my dad leaving me but I have such terrible abandonment issues. I’m so scared that everyone I love will eventually give up on me or get fed up with me and leave. I’m scared their love is fleeting and will fade.
I’m tired of feeling like that.
I know we will all hurt each other at some point but my fear of being left is terrible.
I’m messing up and disappointing people so much lately.
I’m tired of it.
I want to feel something again. Something other than pain.
I’m sorry to anyone I have hurt or made concerned. I’m sorry for being difficult and stupid.
I feel like I’m finally getting everything together and then I fall right back where I started and I don’t know how I get there. I need help.
I’m scared and anxious.
I’m sorry for being a hypocrite and for not using my faith to trust God.
I’m sorry for being so deeply sad that it may drain you.
Trust me. I don’t want this sadness.
Some may say it’s a choice and that can be true for others.
But sometimes there are people who get so lost in it and try to choose to be happy and that is so terribly hard when you can’t feel anything but pain.
And I’m not talking about just a little pain that goes away after a week.
The pain some feel is so deep and so excruciating that it feels like it turns your insides upside down. It’s not a cry for a little while and get over it. It’s a fall to the ground crying and grabbing your stomach and chest because it’s physically hurting you and stealing your breath. A real emptiness. Hollow inside your rib cage.
I can’t do this anymore. Please help me.
I don’t even know what to pray. I just know I want to surrender everything.